Unsettling

Third Sunday of Lent
March 7, 2010

Reading I: Ex 3:1-8a, 13-15
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 103: 1-2, 3-4, 6-7, 8, 11
Reading II: 1 Cor 10:1-6, 10-12
Gospel: Lk 13:1-9


"Therefore, whoever thinks he is standing secure
should take care not to fall." (from the second reading)

"Unsettling" seems to capture the overall mood of the readings for this past Sunday. St. Paul reminds us of the great favor that God showed to Israel, of which we hear in the first reading. God announces to Moses his intention to liberate the Israelites and to make them his own people, granting them "a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey." "Yet," Paul continues "God was not pleased with most of them." Yikes! That's a heck of a transition. How do we get from the Chosen People of God to "not pleased with most of them"?

Something similar happens in the Gospel reading from Luke.
Here we see "some people" delivering a report to Jesus the tragic fate of a group of Galileans under the bloody regime of Pontius Pilate. Here we have to do a little reading between the lines. What exactly is the purpose of this report? How has this tragedy affected the lives of these "some people"? Many reactions are possible: sadness for their killed brethren; anxiety for their lives or the lives of those close to them; indignation at the injustice done; anger at the authorities for their crimes or at God for letting them happen; gratitude that they themselves were not the victims. We really do not know. Jesus, however, seems to sense that some of his interlocutors are using this episode as a prop for their self-righteous attitudes, and he will have none of it. Abruptly, and almost rudely, he turns the question back on them:

“Do you think that because these Galileans suffered in this way
they were greater sinners than all other Galileans?
By no means!
But I tell you, if you do not repent,
you will all perish as they did!"

These readings sweep our preconceptions right out from under our feet and address us with some pointed questions. Paul entreats us to see these Israelites ("most of them") as a mirror of ourselves. We must then ask, What evil things did they desire? Do I desire such things? Jesus calls us away from distraction tactics and focuses our attention on the pressing issues. The question then becomes: From what should I repent?

I could say a lot on the topic of sin here-- and I intend to do so soon-- but for the moment I would like to mention two pitfalls that have accompanied my own self-examination at one point or another.  The first is pride.  When I am not conscious of mortal sin, or really of any sin that I consider at all serious, then it is easy for me to feel smug and self-righteous, almost as if there is nothing from which I need to repent.  The second, perhaps the more insidious of the two for me, is scrupulosity.  On the outside, it looks like the opposite of pride: I react to my own behavior with a hyper-sensitivity to sinful attitudes.  In reality, however, both have a similar effect: they distract me from what is really going on in my life, they keep me from focusing on the real issue.  In my experience, there is at any given time some issue that lies at the forefront of my struggles.  (Today, I think that issue is procrastination in its various forms, particularly videogames and playing with my new PDA.)  In other contexts, such an issue has been called a "sticking point" or a "top plate".  I interpret this as the main issue that keeps me from having an authentic relationship with God today and from being present in love to the people God has put in my life.  To this extent, it doesn't matter whether the particular act or pattern of acts under discussion technically qualifies as "mortal" or "venial" sin.  The salient point is that this issue is for me what lies between praying  "The Lord is kind and merciful" with my lips alone and praying the same words with my whole being.

I think Jim (and Merton, whom he cites) is right on target when he talks about the importance of self-awareness: I need to know what concrete aspects of my life stand in the way of my being an authentic disciple, from doing God's will today.  Without this knowledge, repentance is impossible.  But there is something at work within me-- call it what you like-- that works against my awareness of the truth about myself, something that would have me remain in the dark.  So I am frequently in need of the vision of others, people who see more clearly than me, or at least who can see me more clearly than I can see myself.  For this reason, today I pray for the jolt that I need to unsettle me from my complacency and to reveal me ever more clearly to myself.